OPENING TO THE BELOVED
Opening To The Beloved 2012
Opening To The Beloved felt like a heavenly plateau. It was a time to be still and bathe in the absolute love of the space I rested in. I had been riding a dragon, bucking and rearing through so many volatile emotions, hanging on desperately to my sanity. Then, suddenly, the dragon kneeled to the ground for respite. I knew this resting was more for my benefit than his. It felt good to stand
on more solid ground.
Beyond a spiritual grounding, I felt more solid behind the technical aspects of my creative process. When I began creating my art in 1977, artists and artistic acquaintances were often dismissive of my work. While they had gone through art college and acquired this endorsement as bona fide artists, I was totally self-taught. This put me outside the conventional art world and it was pretty hard to get a showing in a gallery. My self esteem suffered for many years behind this. But the general public was appreciative of my work and constant sales encouraged me. Soon my need to impress those who populated the art world faded.
I had developed my own style and at that time involved throwing as much symbolism and sacred shape into the work because I thought this was required to make my work amazing. It wasn’t until my connection with the Merlin energy that this impulse was reigned in. I was shown that it isn’t the content nor technical ability that gave the work power. The magic came from my intention.
The inspiration came from my heart, and not the need to be admired.
When the Awakening series of paintings finally brought me to Opening to the Beloved. It also brought me to an understanding that in the energy of Oneness, there is no need to strive - not to be a better person, to be loved, or to be admired. It is all about just being. It’s about truly loving who I am, warts and all. For the first time in mylife, when the art was finished, I really felt like I hadachieved a snapshot of the experience of the painting.
Within the experience of Opening to the Beloved there was also a profound shift in my relationship with pain.Creating art has always been a place I could lose myself. While in deep concentration and the energy of the muse, I could disconnect from the constant back pain. I well remember the evening I gave a talk at Father Dennis O’Neill’s Rectory in Chicago. I had to use sticks to walk
in those days, but vividly remember putting the sticks to one side as I stood in front of the audience. The next minute I was moving swiftly around the room with no pain at all. Opening to the Beloved was engaging with Divine Love, moving from the place of “I am in pain” and
“why me?” to a place where, while there was the awareness of pain, I was not feeding it fear, anger, or frustration. Those emotions that only served to exacerbate the pain.Being. It is what it is.
The completion of the painting was also the completion of a continuous progression of energetic shifts that lasted through the three months it took to work through the four paintings. The energy I experienced had no interest in physical time and I was often woken from my sleep to
complete certain details on the picture as though some kind of greater Cosmic clock needed this to happen at this special moment. As the art evolved the intensity increased. Courtney became the vehicle for the magic to happen. The vehicle that cleaned the brushes and prepared the paper, looking after myself to be a good and clear channel. To this day, I find it difficult to accept
too much praise for the art. It’s like praising the paper the brush and pen for their skills, they all play their part but would be nothing without Divine Presence